Watch out for Alien Mike Tyson in Men In Black III

WASHINGTON: One of the most lethal boxers of all times, Mike Tyson, is all set to make his impact yet again in the Hollywood with a role in the science fiction comedy movie Men In Black III.

The movie is due to hit cinemas in 2012 and also has franchise stars Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith. Mike Tyson will play an alien in the movie.

Mike Tyson, 44, told the Entertainment Weekly, “I’m also lined up to do Men in Black III. Probably an alien or something. I have no idea. But we’ll find out one day.”
Tyson is not a novice to the film industry as he had played a short role in The Hangover, released in 2009.

Talking about the sequel of The Hangover, the aggressive Tyson said, “It’s going to be amazing. I play Mike Tyson and playing Mike Tyson, you’re liable to see anything. That’s the privilege I have of being Mike Tyson”.

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Sucky 3-D sci-fi flick = Oscar-bait?

The science is settled: Avatar sucks. Don't tell that to Hollywood, though: It could get nine Oscar nominations!

Speaking of awards, don't forget to vote for me in the 2009 Malkin Awards. Last time I checked, I was in second place behind Glenn Beck.

Apparently, Avatar sucks, bad

On Twitter last night, this new big-budget sci-fi flick was slagged mercilessly. Left Coast Rebel links to Debbie Schlussel's review:

Clocking in at nearly three hours, "Avatar" is an incredible waste of time. It's essentially a remake of "Dances With Wolves" and every other movie where we evil Americans terrorize the indigenous natives, kill them, take their land, and are just all around imperialistically wicked and inhumane. Oh, and we're destroying the environment, clearing precious giant trees and natural landscapes and killing rare animals and their habitats, in order to invade and harvest valuable substances under the ground. . . .
Smurf-like natives made to look like overgrown American Indians, complete with warpaint, mohawks, and long ponytails (that have computer-like USB cable tendrils in them, which can communicate with nature–ludicrous). Does that sound like earth-shattering stuff to you? They looked like Jar Jar Binks with arrowheads. . . .

"Jar Jar Binks? Ewwwwww. Read the whole thing. Meanwhile the much-hyped 3-D effects evidently underwhelm, as Ann Althouse quotes her 26-year-old son's iChat commentary:

just trying to look at the 3d and get it to look right was pretty much the entire experience of it. . . .
it never reaches the point of looking like reality, and looks less real than 2d. . . .

My inner English teacher wants to reply to Althouse's kid: "What's with the non-capitalizing?" Has technology rendered capitalization obsolete?

Never mind that, though. There was never a chance I'd go see something like Avatar -- I have a generalized aversion to science fiction -- but anyone tempted to pay money to see it, or to send their kids to see it, is hereby warned.

Update: (Smitty) House of Eratosthenes has a lengthy list of crap we don't want to see in movies.

Wasted time, wasted money, wasted life

No, not talking about Ben Nelson. I'm talking about Da Tech Guy's brutal review of But I'm a Cheerleader, starring Natasha Lyonne:

It's 85 minutes you’ll never get back.

I've linked that review as a sidebar headline, but thought I'd dilate on the topic a little more here in the mainbar. Da Tech Guy slags the movie for its negative stereotypes of Christians, a pet theme of contemporary Hollywood -- and a theme that is both unpopular and unprofitable.

Several similar movies have been produced in the past dozen years, praised by critics and even lavished with Oscar nominations, and yet none of them has been a major moneymaker. One might suppose that the geniuses in Hollywood would get the message, but apparently they don't.

Evidently, sarcastic secular screenwriters know that if they produce a script portraying Christians as a bunch of uptight prudes or hypocritical bigots, there will be some producer or studio executive who'll buy it, as this kind of product represents the regnant Hollywood worldview.

The problem is that while producers and executives constitute the market for scripts, they aren't the ultimate consumers of films. That's an important distinction. The American public might buy all manner of insipid dreck -- predictable slasher flicks, implausible sci-fi fantasies, gross-out comedies, cartoonish action movies -- but they do not share the Hollywood prejudice against Christianity manifested by movies like But I'm a Cheerleader.

There aren't enough God-haters in America to make such movies profitable, and yet they continue to be produced, evidence of how the perverse insularity of the film community has contributed to Hollywood's decline.

Now, go enjoy Da Tech Guy's blog. He's a good guy, even if he is Catholic.